


Something Dropped

by ausfil



Series: Something New [3]
Category: Westlife
Genre: BDSM, Communication, Control, Conversations, Dialogue Heavy, Dom Drop, Dom/dom/sub, Dom/sub, Dominance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Kneeling, M/M, Masochism, Multi, Sadism, Submission, Top Drop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-25 23:53:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20732786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ausfil/pseuds/ausfil
Summary: Nicky wakes up not feeling quite himself, wondering if he’s doing the right thing.“Have you ever heard of dom drop?” Kian asks.





	Something Dropped

**Author's Note:**

> This whole thing is basically just them talking about dom drop so there’s no porn in this one it’s not exactly the most exciting piece I’ve done, but I feel deeply about this stuff I’ve wanted to do something about dom drop for a long time.  
It’s super important and is not talk about enough at ALL so I hope you still enjoy this part of the series and remember that dom drop is just as valid as sub drop♡

Shane wakes up in a heavenly spot in between two bodies - his head resting on Nicky’s arms, Kian’s hand holding him by the waist.

“Morning,” Kian whispers and kisses his forehead. Shane whispers it back and turns his head to say it to Nicky. “Nicky’s still asleep.”

Shane smiles at the closed eyes underneath golden hair. He looks back at Kian and brushes his fringe away. “I slept so ridiculously well last night, you’ve no idea.”

“You looked like it,” Kian chuckles.

“Your fault for tiring me out like that.” Shane lifts his shirt and glances at the whip marks from the day before that had settled into bruises. It makes him smile.

“You feel okay?” Kian traces them with his fingers, so gentle and calming like another layer of soothing cream.

Shane nods. “Perfect. I missed it.”

Shane hadn’t been tied and whipped like that in a while and god, did he sleep well after it.

Nicky had done well too. He’d been scared to use the horsewhip this early, just in case, and had picked up a riding crop instead. Something he was becoming very familiar with. Shane and Kian had been proud of him.

Everyone has their favourite implement, and Nicky had found his. That’s surely a BDSM milestone.

“Do you think Nicky will build himself up to a whip one day?”

“I know you’d like it,” Kian scoffs. “He’s doing well. I think he will, if it’s something he wants.”

Shane nods, then bites his lip for a bit. Looks hesitant before saying the next words that fill his brain. “Do you um… do you think this will like, become a thing for a while?”

“What, the three of us?”

Shane shrugs shy. Kian smirks.

“You like him, don’t you?”

“Of course I like him. He’s been my best friend for 20 years.”

“I meant more than that.” Shane looks up at him and Kian sees it; the little spark in morning hazels that they would definitely need to talk about.

It wasn’t like they were the most monogamous couple. They’d opened and shared on a few occasions but this was a different. This wasn’t just sex and kink. Or maybe it was. It had started as just that when Nicky joined them for the first time, but here they were over a month later, falling asleep and waking up on the same bed, and Shane’s eyes looked like they saw a different tomorrow.

And Kian doesn’t know how to feel about it all. Not that he doesn’t love seeing Nicky snap, because seeing those kind blue eyes summon hell within seconds wanting to beat Shane, it ignites a fire in Kian’s chest that brings their play sessions to a whole other level. Also getting to hug him as hard as he hugs Shane after every session brought him twice as much comfort.

And he doesn’t want this to stop. But he doesn’t want this to change and get complicated either.

“You’re both up,” Nicky croaks and does a stretch under the sunlight.

“Hey,” Shane rolls around and props himself up on his elbows, kisses Nicky’s hair. “Good sleep?”

“I don’t know. I feel groggy,” Nicky groans and shuffles closer. Feels a little better when Shane hugs him. He lets out a deep breath. “How are you feeling?”

“Me?” Shane chuckles awkwardly and exchanges a look with Kian. There’s something different in Nicky’s voice. “I’m great. Um. Refreshed. Last night was good.”

“Nicky, are you okay?” Kian sits up and places his hand over Nicky’s arm that’s wrapped around Shane, hanging on.

Nicky nods into Shane’s chest and shuffles in even closer. Shane looks back over his shoulder at Kian, raising an eyebrow.

“Go back to sleep if you want,” Shane soothes the back of Nicky’s hair with his palm.

Nicky says no.

They suggest other things. Breakfast. Going for a walk. A long shower. A cup of tea. It’s a no to all of them.

Shane looks back at Kian again, concerned. _What’s wrong?_, he mouths.

_Hang on, _Kian mouths back then he purses his lips, contemplating. Shane waits, patting Nicky’s hair, until Kian suggests something else. “Or I can draw you a bath if you’d like.”

Nicky thinks quietly for a while then gives in a small nod. “Lavender?”

“Lavender bath coming right up.” Kian chuckles. “Shane, help me.”

Shane quickly pecks Nicky’s forehead then follows Kian into the bathroom. “What is it?”

Kian peeks out the door and makes sure Nicky can’t hear him. He turns the bath water on. “Do you think he might be dropping?” Kian whispers.

Oh. It’s been a while since Shane had seen Kian drop and been there with him through it. He hates to admit but he’d forgotten about dom drop since then. He remembers the effect it had on Kian though, and all he wants to do right now is go out there and hug Nicky. “Shit. Maybe. We should talk to him.”

“I’ll draw the bath and stay with him. See where he’s at first. Do you mind waiting outside?”

Shane shakes his head.

***

Kian watches in silence as Nicky sinks down and makes himself comfortable in the lavender water.

Nicky tips his head back and closes his eyes, breathes in the comforting scents and tries to breathe out the negative energy clawing at him from the underground.

“Would you like some alone time?” Kian asks.

Nicky’s eyes remain closed but he shakes his head. “I… Will you stay? If that’s okay.”

“Of course,” Kian sits on top of the toilet cover, holding the hand that surfaced out to reach his. “You look tired.”

“I am. I feel… I don’t know. Off.” Kian’s thumb brushes over his hand, and Nicky feels a little lump in his throat.

Kian doesn’t say anything to that. He sits there in a comfortable silence, waiting, and Nicky appreciates it.

His mind tracks back to last night – Shane suspended from the ceiling, wrists tied, his toes just touching the cold floor. The muffled screams into a ball gag whenever Nicky and Kian whipped him. The red marks across Shane’s back, chest, stomach, ass, thighs. Everywhere. The satisfaction he felt. The torture darkening Shane’s leaking eyes.

The…

The guilt that’s suddenly scratching up his throat. The emotions that he doesn’t know how to label.

“Can I ask you something?” Nicky murmurs after a while.

“Anything,” the kind voice encourages.

Nicky opens his eyes. For the first time in the past incredible month that they’ve shared, he doesn’t want to see Shane in pain. “Have you ever felt… strange? After… you know. Doing things we did yesterday.”

Kian sighs and moves down to sit right outside the bathtub, settling on the floor and not letting go of that hand. “Have you ever heard of dom drop? Or top drop.”

“Um.” Nicky stares at him blankly for a bit, blinking through the thought patterns in his brain. “No, I… I’ve heard of sub drop though.”

“Yeah. It’s a similar idea,” Kian rests his chin on the tub’s edge and looks up at Nicky with eyes that remind him of a clear morning sky. “Dominating is a very mental thing too, as much as submitting is. And no one talks about dom drop which sucks but sometimes after a scene, that adrenaline rush and endorphins and everything like that drops for us too and you can feel depressed or insecure. Tired. Anxious. The reactions can be different for everyone.”

Nicky tries to take a deep breath guided by Kian’s deep blue eyes and the lavender fragrance. He doesn’t realise when his exhale comes out trembling. “Right, that… Okay. I guess that makes sense.”

Kian nods. “Do you want to talk about it? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I think it’ll help.”

“I think I just… I feel bad.” There’s a pang in Nicky’s chest that relieves itself a little when Kian’s hands move. Those soft fingers trail up his arm and settle on his shoulders, thumbs gently drawing circles into his skin. “It must hurt when we… you know,” Nicky mumbles.

“Shane?” Nicky nods. Feels a lump in his throat. “I’m sure it does. But that’s what he wants. He lets you do it because he trusts you so much and he wants it as much as you do.”

Nicky chews on his lip, staring into the purpled water consuming him.

“And he’s a fucking whore for it, you’ve seen what he can be like.” That brings out a small laugh at least. “Look, I rarely tell Shane this because I don’t want it to get to his head, but in reality, the dominants don’t actually have the power. The subs do. And Shane knows that, obviously. That’s why he feels comfortable submitting. Subs have the ultimate power to stop everything, and I think understanding that dynamic is important. Especially when you’re feeling like this. It explains a lot about what this all actually means.”

Kian’s clumsy massage on his tense shoulder blades continues and Nicky wants to stay here for hours not having to move another single muscle. Just here. Breathing. Talking. Listening. Thinking. Feeling. “That makes sense. Thank you.” Nicky takes another couple deep breaths for himself. “I understand it but still, I… I don’t know. Have you ever had this thing?”

“Drop? Yeah. Lots of times.”

Nicky looked up a little surprised. “But you have so much experience.”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t have drops. It happens less but it’s still really hard sometimes. It can hit you whenever, even if the scene went really well and everything was going great.” Kian leans down to kiss one of the shoulder blades, then resumes a slow rhythm. Feels Nicky relaxing a little more underneath his touch and his words. “When I drop, I feel really tired, like I can’t even get out of bed when it’s really intense. For me, most of the time, it’s more a physical drop.”

“Right. Is that what’s happening with me then?” Nicky rests his chin on his knee.

“Sometimes people have more of a mental, emotional reaction. Sometimes people have a mixture. And whichever one is fine. Whatever you’re feeling right now, I promise it’s okay.” The touch leaves Nicky’s shoulders and comes back to his hand. Nicky holds on. He doesn’t want to let go for a long time. “I just want you to know that I understand. I know it’s hard and it feels like a lot. I was about to give up on everything BDSM-related when I had my first drop. It hits you hard, right?”

“Yeah,” Nicky chuckles. He hears a wet puddle inside his throat, and Nicky really doesn’t want to cry. Or maybe he does.

“I’m here for you, whenever you want to talk through it,” Kian’s grip tightens, and yes, Nicky wants to cry. “Shane’s here for you too.”

“Thank you,” his wavering voice lilts. “Can I just… be alone for a bit? Not that I don’t want to be with you but…“

“I know. It’s okay.” Kian stands up and kisses Nicky’s forehead. “Give me a shout if you need anything.”

Kian leaves.

Nicky sinks into the water further.

***

Halfway through the movie Kian and Shane were watching, Nicky had joined them again in their bedroom.

He’d settled in between them, cuddled together underneath the blankets, and they didn’t say anything. They didn’t ask if he was okay. They just let him be, kindly offering him gentle touches, kisses to his cheek, some peaceful time and space, and Nicky really doesn’t want to be anywhere else right now, with anyone else.

When the movie eventually finishes, Shane sits up for a lazy stretch. “I’m gonna go get some chips, do you guys want- Nicky?“

He looks back and notices Nicky trying to hide the tears in those pure blue eyes. Shane feels his heart break.

“Hey,” he drapes his arm around the man. “It’s okay.”

“Oh love…” Kian breathes and pats the back of Nicky’s head to the slow rhythm of his cries. He doesn’t know when Nicky started. But that doesn’t seem important. Maybe it’s a good thing that they didn’t notice for a while.

_Drop?_, Shane mouths over Nicky’s shoulder, and Kian nods. Shane nods back.

And again, they let him be. They let him cry, to have time to himself, to process this for himself. Shane doesn’t let go of the man, and Kian’s hand doesn’t leave him. They’ll always be here.

The movie credits finish rolling by the time Nicky sobs less.

Nicky pulls back from the hug to wipe his face, to lick his trembling lips. “Sorry. Thank you,” he whispers, then groans. “Fuck, this is pathetic.”

“It’s really not,” Kian croons from behind. “Would you like to talk about it?”

“Can I just…” Nicky’s weak fingers lift up Shane’s shirt a little, the angry red lines peeking through. “I’m sorry. It looks painful.”

“And that’s why I love it,” Shane lifts up his shirt higher, revealing more lines that make him feel so proud. “Don’t feel bad for these. Do you want me to tell you how I feel when I see them?”

Nicky reaches out to brush his fingertips against them, tracing them as he listens. After a moment of hesitation, he nods. It’s easier to listen than to talk right now.

“I feel strong,” Shane chases Nicky’s fingers with his eyes and smiles. “When I see them, when you and Kian mark me like this, I feel like I know myself better because of it. Like I’m reaching a part of myself that I’d never be able to reach on my own. It helps me centre myself. I feel like I belong somewhere, you know? It’s a way of life, and one that I really need. And one that I need _you_ for.”

“Are you sure?” Nicky’s teary voice echoes through the room.

“Hundred percent,” Shane grabs the hand that’s on his body. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here. We wouldn’t be doing any of this. But I _am_ here. You’re here. Kian’s here. We’re doing this. Because we all _want _to be here and it fulfils us in a way that nothing else can.”

Shane remembers the first time Kian had dropped, and he hadn’t known what was wrong. Neither of them had. Kian hadn’t talked to him for the entire day. Hadn’t texted him back despite the many that Shane had sent. Hadn’t returned any calls or voicemails. And Shane thought maybe he fucked up. Maybe he had done something wrong and Kian was dumping him.

Then past midnight, he’d gotten a call. Shane was ready to yell at him, but when Kian said “can you come over? I don’t understand what’s happening” with a teary voice, his entire plexus had broken apart and he was in his car without even changing out of his pyjamas.

He had said the same things he’s saying now, and he still means every syllable of it.

“It makes me a braver, stronger, more disciplined, happier person. I can’t imagine my life without it.”

“I can’t either,” Nicky scoffs at himself. “A month ago, I was alone in my room fantasising about things and now, with you guys, it’s…” He sighs and wipes tears that betray him.

Nicky doesn’t know how to shake this feeling – this peculiar mix of his chest swelling and bleeding at the same time. His mind going back and forth between Shane and Kian’s kind smiles and that darker place in his heart that’s telling him this is all so wrong.

“Tell us what you’re feeling,” Kian croons. “Whatever comes to your mind. I promise it’s easier once you talk about this. It always is for me when I go through it.”

“I…” Nicky sighs. “I’m… a sadist.”

A dagger of guilt pierces his chest, and he holds Shane’s hand to try and take it out. He doesn’t want to let it settle there. Not when he has it this good with his two best friends. He wants to take it out. He needs to take it out. He wants to go back to those smiles.

“I love seeing you in pain and knowing that _I _caused that pain with my own hands. Feeling you flinch and hearing you moan underneath my touch, it just makes me feel so…” Nicky sighs. “It makes me feel good. Powerful. It makes me feel like I’m in control. And I love it.”

“Then what’s the issue?”

“I…” Nicky stumbles on his words for a bit then tips his head down. “I feel like a bad person. I feel fucked up. Because I like… hurting people.”

“You like hurting _submissives_, not random people. There’s a difference,” Kian answers.

Shane rakes his hand through Nicky’s hair, smiles when Nicky leans into the touch. “If I said no, if I said I didn’t want you to hit me, would you still do it?”

Nicky darts his head up. “No. Of course not. No. Never.”

“Exactly. You do it because I know you and Kian want to, and you both know I want you to. We’re complementing each other. It’s as simple as that. And this kind of control is really good for me, as much as it is for you. That doesn’t make you a bad person, Nicky.”

“It’s a win-win for everybody.” Kian takes over. God, they’re like an Olympics tag team. “Everybody’s good. Everybody’s fulfilled and happy. What else could we want?”

Nicky wipes his wet cheeks. Feels a small smile let itself flower on his face.

The words all make sense. They fit into pieces of Nicky’s brain that understands what’s happening and is finally happy. But his heart being anchored to the scars on Shane’s body, he still feels…

“What if there comes a point where I can’t control myself? What if…” Nicky sniffles, sweeps his sleeve over his nose. “What if I don’t realise and I really really hurt you? What if I push you both too far?”

“Then we’ll tell you. We’ll stop it and we’ll talk through it. We have safewords and safemoves for a reason.”

Nicky nods slowly and brings his hands up to scrub his face. “Sorry, lads,” he whispers.

“What, for dropping? Don’t ever be sorry about that.”

“Yeah,” Shane puts his arm around Nicky’s shoulders, “Kian and I have been through it multiple times – it’s fine. This one time, Kian wanted to throw out all our toys and tools because he felt bad hurting me with them. Do you know how long it took me to convince him not to? They’re fuckin’ expensive!”

Nicky laughs and leans his head on Shane’s shoulder. This feels nice, despite it all.

“So this is just that drop thing you told me about, right? I’ll feel better?”

“Of course you will. There’s nothing wrong with how you’re feeling. Give yourself some time, love.” Kian leans in for a short kiss. “We don’t have to do anything today. Let’s just relax. Do you want to watch another movie?”

Nicky nods and thanks them. Breathing feels a little easier, the Sun a little warmer shining through their window.

“Though we still need _some _order, um,” Kian pulls Nicky closer and leans in to whisper something in his ear. Shane waits, holding back on every might to not try and listen in. He doesn’t really want to get punished today, on this wonderful day.

When he finishes whispering, Nicky nods.

“Would you like that? It could help to have a little something going just to remind you. Or we don’t have to do it at all and you can take a break. It’s up to you.”

“Just something small,” Nicky answers, whatever it is.

Shane might be going a little crazy wanting to know. He doesn’t ask though. He watches instead, as Kian stands up and puts a cushion on the floor just beside the bed. “Kneel over here.”

_Oh. _Shane’s brain flips and he moves instantly. Hears Nicky chuckle – a bright, comforting sound.

Kian crouches beside the kneeling boy. “Stay down here, hands behind your back, until the movie finishes and when Nicky’s better, you _might _just get a reward.”

Shane bites down on his smile and holds the position. When Kian goes to turn on another movie, he looks back at Nicky who’s staring at him, seeping with ease and grace.

Nicky chuckles when Shane winks at him.

“Hey. Face the front.” Kian orders but Nicky sees the grin that sneaks past.

Yeah, this is a good thing. He wants this.

Climbing back on the bed, Kian turns the movie on and holds Nicky’s hand, sitting close that their shoulders are touching.

Kian reminds himself of the spark in Shane’s eyes when they’d talked this morning. Looks at this hand that he wants to hold tomorrow too.

He has a lot of thinking to do.

But right now, he just wants to focus on this dumb movie, on the calming lavender scent Nicky’s radiating, and on Shane kneeling down, being the good boy that he is.


End file.
